A change of heart

This is for my friend/lover that I've known for 6 years and counting.

I guess we're just back to friends for now, I know that has connotations that there might be a time that changes once again, but I'm in no position to make you stay. Firstly, I would be shortchanging myself. And I would be wasting both your time and mine. I'm glad that for the first time in my life I'm able to have a clean breakup, in the sense that we're still able to be there for each other amidst all the pain we are both feeling. I know you are hurting too. Being the initiator doesn't make you the bad guy, and it doesn't make it hurt any less. I understand where you're coming from, although I struggled to at first, and I know you're not one to make excuses to put yourself in a better light. I understand that you won't know, expect, when you stop loving somebody. It's just a phenomenon that comes with time, most relationships end that way anyway. Just the matter of who feels it first and who takes the initiative to act on it first. I thank you for doing it, and I respect you. Unlike you, I'd never have the guts to take the step and end it. To some people, I'm just buying the typical break-up bullshit, it's not you it's me, whatever. But, please tell me i'm right in thinking we're not like that. That you truly want out because it's not fair to me, to continue loving somebody without the capacity, the desire, to love me back with a similar intensity. I want to call you out this evening and just talk about how we can make this work, to convince you that it doesn't have to end. I'm not afraid of appearing pathetic because I know you won't ever judge me nor derive any sense of satisfaction from it, but that's not what's stopping me. I want you to come back to me, if you do at all, because your heart, mind, tells you to. I am to be no catalyst. I still see you as possibly, the one for me, and if for the third time we somehow find our way back to each other I can safely say I will fight for you and never let you go. But as for now, I will wait.

I'm sorry for the things I said earlier, you may have taken the same approach in breaking up with me but other than that you are so different from the others. The entire time you were the most patient person I've ever encountered, always giving in to me with little regard for your ego. Don't doubt your ability to love another person after this. I have total confidence you can make any girl happy just by being yourself. Thank you for teaching me how to be a more loving, kinder and honest person. To be more generous and forgiving of the small stuff. Surely I will learn from this, to not conform to another's ideals. You've impacted me in so many ways.

I may no longer be that special person anymore, nor have first dibs on your couch, but I'll still be here for you to confide in, like I know I can count on you to, like how I've been for the last 6 years.

To the greatest love of my life thus far, my confidante and one of my most precious friends, until next time.