hiatus

You could say I've learnt to let go.

I turn 18 this year and apart from the usual coming-of-age causes of excitement such as the possible ownership of a car or the frivolous drinking and clubbing which by the way, god forbid, I am highly doubtful I'd enjoy, the sequence of events this year in no chronological order whatsoever will probably mould me into the person I'd be stuck with for a long time. What if I said I kind of like the person I've become, or perhaps that is premature and I should really say, I kind of like the person I am becoming.

I feel the larger capacity to forgive, regret, love and most of all, I've learnt to walk away from a lost cause, and somehow managed to stumble into the arms of one who is my safety even if I might have to do my fair share of saving. Meanwhile, my attention span in school is dwindling and I spend most days battling with my eyelids for dominance in keeping them open long enough to finish daily obligations that only seem like redundancies. I fear I may be over-celebrating my clearing of BT1 a little, hiding from responsibility under the lace veil of my mediocre achievements. Another excuse I've been using far too often is the fact that a-divs are starting hence the focus shift to more pressing matters which would be the start of season in less than 12 hours time.

I've been bowling terribly the past few training sessions and its the last thing a first-time competitor should have to keep reminding herself of every waking minute. I feel like I've made so much progress since joining SA Bowling last year but yet I feel myself back to where I was at the beginning once again. Bowling 120+ average games and missing all my god damn spares and forgetting to finger my ball. Please, not now. I just hope I'm able to keep my head above the water tomorrow or at least learn to swim.