we don't speak in the same tongue

He is so gentle, sometimes I wonder if
he keeps his resolve within clenched
fists he doesn't own
they knock against his teeth sometimes,
how dare he

when the only time I'd go that far is when his jaw points the way
to another all consuming kiss.

I drop hints around his potty mouth,
the feral way I know how, with nicks and tiny licks I show him
possession without manipulation,
oh, the only time I will pin him down is so
every
part
of our bodies can lie in perfect alignment
while your pen is ready to stab him in the flesh,
mine is ready to paint him in the light of day
because,
metaphors jump across the page to coat him in layers of Gold Ochre,
Terre Verte,
Scarlet Lake is the colour of his ears when he laughs at his own bad jokes
But you,
you only know rage the darkest shade of carmine,
call me belligerent but I'm not the one battling my pride

one day I hope you'll find the time
to pull apart your pre-
conceived notions and stubborn skin
the one you wear like chain-mail and brigandine
until then, this is one war I cannot win.

I walk and you are with me

That day in particular 

I remember it was unbelievably hot

I almost swatted a fly against my ear

And my skin was the kind of dry every scratch marred me with chalk white lines on my calves

I was thinking about the wet centre of your mouth 

And that my favourite kind of poetry centered on a reckless coming undone where the only shred of control was the hesitation before the searing rip of buttons

I kicked a can and it rolled with an almost sensual tinkling as it hit a lamppost a tock

Tick, tick, tick,

Plastic buttons fall

to the floor rolling off in different directions 

You, on the other hand,

The perfect epitome of purposeful you sank the only southern way you know how to

And I grip the table's edge

Knuckles white

Lights dancing in my vision even whiter 

Oh, how this body only knows rhythm when it is fed to me through your lips

How the only time I am moved is when you wreak havoc on my nervous system

There are whole nations in your chest cavity 

Where I am stumbling blind quite honestly 

what the young teaches the younger

Who are we kidding
when we place a bottle to our lips and
try to call it a marriage of some sort
the last thing I remember
a straw between my teeth then
your ear in its place
fast forward to me counting the steps to your door
1, 2, 3.. 6.. 14..25
I was barely 13 before I was taught love was a call to arms,
not a veritable verb
you told me it was good enough
holding it in my palm
and really I should've known
when every attempt at romance was nothing above a whisper
how I was your best kept secret at 15


at 19, I still unravel under the influence
my cup is empty from the nights I gave you so much it
tumbled
into the morning after but all that was left to grab at was
your hair on my pillow,
you were spontaneous like that, weren't you?
and I,
hey, why won't you just lighten up?
You fancied flight and I only wanted the pebbles
crushed beneath my plimsolls
telling me all I ever needed to know,
that
the smallest only get stifled more
and before I knew it
I was a crushed up beer can,
insides still wet god damn it
coursing real liquid in real time
just
so
I could live to love you
and you tell me, sobriety hurts
like I'm only beautiful when I'm a blur
oh sweetheart,
if only you knew how pretty your eyes were
before they rolled to the back of your head,
and sweetheart,
I hope you make it home tonight.

and that home,
is you retching on the floor,
on your knees because that's where you liked me best.